


Investigating Lost Memories

by IAmAshamedOfMyFanfics (faraandmera)



Series: GOT7 Gaurdian Angel AU [14]
Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - Angels & Demons, Fantasy, Friendship, Implied Romance, M/M, and reapers, death is mentioned as something that happened but doesn't happen in this story, i say as im the one not letting them be, i try to be funny but im not, jinyoung is barely there, let the boys be happy, lots of self reflection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-20
Updated: 2017-02-20
Packaged: 2018-09-25 17:30:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9834626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faraandmera/pseuds/IAmAshamedOfMyFanfics
Summary: They’re both silent for a moment, considering it. Considering if they weren’t as close as the best friend title would imply. If one, or both, of them hadn’t actually cared when they were human.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written in june of 2016
> 
> tumblr version: http://iamashamedofmyfanfics.tumblr.com/post/146525128915/
> 
> With this one the series is caught up with where it is on tumblr!

“This is everything I- and by that I mean my source- could find out about you.” Yugyeom drops a folder onto the table in front of Kunpimook. Yugyeom takes a seat at said table- an outdoor table for some restaurant that they didn’t have to worry about being bothered at due to the fact no one could see them. Being a reaper and demon respectively had it’s perks.

Since Kunpimook had been born a demon- meaning, really, that he was stripped of his human memories when he died- and since Yugyeom was a reaper- who all ended up like that too- the two had banded together to find out why. Well, that and because Yugyeom had looked enough into his past to find out they had been friends before they died.

Kunpimook though, wanted to know about himself first. What kind of human had he been?

There wasn’t a ton of info. Kunpimook Bhuwakul had died over twenty years ago and finding out about that when you only had access to so much was difficult. Still there was enough that they could confirm he _was_ , in fact, a person that had existed.

Kunpimook Bhuwakul was part of a foreign exchange program in middle school and had moved totally to Korea in high school. Kunpimook Bhuwakul was going to apply to a performing arts school. Kunpimook Bhuwakul was found under a bridge three hours after his estimated time of death. Kunpimook was marked down as having committed suicide- but he knew _that_ at least wasn’t true.

Jinyoung- who had taught Kunpimook how demons worked and what his job was- happened to be there when Kunpimook died. Hadn’t meant for Kunpimook to die, but was there none the less and was able to confirm- in conversation Kunpimook listened in on- that a woman Kunpimook had known had killed him.

“Well,” Yugyeom hummed, looking over the papers of information while Kunpimook did. Though Yugyeom was looking at them upside down. Could he even read them? “Should we ask Jinyoung more about your death? Since we know that’s not true.”

“Actually, yes. But mostly I want to know more about our after-deaths. Like, did we really not remember anything immediately after or did we get stripped of our memories after becoming this.”

“That means finding someone who was there. Well… I know who was there for me, and you have Jinyoung. So… Back here tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow.”

 

Yugyeom visits his memorial again, the next day after getting his answer and before visiting Kunpimook. The face on the picture there is his, someone he used to be. Someone that he just found out continued to exists before Yugyeom was made a reaper.

_“I honestly had thought you’d be reborn.”_ His mentor had said. Yugyeom understands what he means. Though why or how Yugyeom doesn’t know, when humans die a lot of the time he just… knows what’s going to happen to them. There are cases where he’s wrong- angel or demon, demon or angel- but he’s never been wrong about one that was going to be reborn. There’s just something… a feeling he has when he meets a dead human soul that he can’t quite explain that tells him as much.

He’d ask other reapers if they knew what they’d done to become a reaper, but none of them remember. And Yugyeom has never taken the soul of someone who would become one. Becoming a reaper is much less likely than anything else and maybe that’s why it’s _so hard_ to figure out why they are the way they end up.

Yugyeom sighs, shakes his head and walks away from his ‘resting place’. He wonders if Kunpimook had any better luck.

 

Jinyoung doesn’t like to talk about the past, especially when he makes mistakes. But Kunpimook isn’t going to let this go easily, they both know this, so he sighs and leans back against a alleyway wall.

“Fine, I have some time,” Jinyoung tries to pretend this is easier for him than it is. Kunpimook isn’t fooled, but as long as he gets told the truth it’s fine if Jinyoung wants to pretend for now.

“How’d I die?”

“You met the human who knew you,” Jinyoung reminds him. Kunpimook had met her after she’d died, when she had been surprised to see Kunpimook and he hadn’t known _why_. At least until later when he overheard Jinyoung mentioning it. “She killed you, I don’t really get why. She was waiting for someone else, you showed up, and she killed you for whatever reason she had.”

“Okay,” Kunpimook says, sighing. “I have another question.”

“Shoot.”

“When I first died, what was i like?”

“When you first died?”

“You were there.”

“Yeah.” Jinyoung nods, avoiding Kunpimooks’ gaze. “Scared. You just kept panicking, and yelling at her even though she couldn’t hear you. A reaper took you and when you came back, well… you know.”

“Oh… okay. Thank you.” Kunpimook doesn’t really know what to do with the information. If he had known the person who killed him well enough, it was reasonable that he would have freaked out and been angry. But it’s strange to think he could have felt so strongly and just not… _Know_.

 

“So, how’d your research go?” Kunpimook adjusts glasses on his face.

“Better question is, why do you have glasses? You’re _dead_. You’re vision is perfect.”

“I look smart.”

“Where did you get them?”

“Stole them.”

“Bambam.”

“Yugyeom.”

_“What?”_

“What.”

“Stop.” Yugyeom sighs. “Whatever; this is off topic.”

“Right. So?”

“I was.. I guess… ‘myself’ before I was made a reaper. So much that the one who collected my soul thought I’d be reborn. Then I was made a reaper and they took my memories… just like all of us I guess. I don’t know why but I guess reapers aren’t supposed to remember being human.”

“That’s stupid.”

“I agree.” Yugyeom nods. “You?”

“Jinyoung said I was freaked out and angry. Incoherent even? Then I came back _blank_ until I remembered my name.” Kunpimook sighs, running a hand through his hair. “Why we don’t remember might be completely different for both of us. It’s not like we can ask anyone else because they don’t remember and it’s probably been too long for them to find out.”

Angels and Demons weren’t made that often, reapers even less so.

“At least we know that we didn’t die and immediately forget.” Yugyeom leans against the table, frowning. “Is that better or worse?”

“I think neither. It just _is._ ” Kunpimook frowns to reflect Yugyeom. “None of this is fair.”

“Yeah.”

“I mean!” Kunpimook motions wildly around him. “What is this?! Who _are_ we?! Is this who we would be if we remembered? Why don’t we get to?”

“I don’t know what it was for me that made me a reaper so I couldn’t remember, but Bam have you considered… maybe the you before didn’t want to? You said yourself, you were killed by someone that you knew, maybe you didn’t want to remember that.”

“Not wanting to remember one thing is, well, one thing, but I forgot _everything!_ My family, my life, my friends, my interests, _you_. Did I really want to forget everything for one thing? If so, I need someone to invent postmortem time travel so I can fight myself.”

“I guess that depends on how much that stuff mattered to you.” Yugyeom isn’t trying to be rude or hurtful, but neither of them know for sure. It’s possible Kunpimook _didn’t_ care about those things as much as he wanted to forget being betrayed.

“Didn’t…” Kunpimook suddenly looks like he’s going to cry, bits his lip, and folds his arms around himself. “Didn’t matter to me? How could none of that matter to me? I barely know you _now_ and I care at least that much, if we were best friends before we died, wouldn’t I have wanted to remember that?”

“I… don’t know.”

They’re both silent for a moment, considering it. Considering if they weren’t as close as the _best friend_ title would imply. If one, or both, of them hadn’t actually cared when they were human.

“You know,” Yugyeom starts. “Now that I think about it, if I was fully aware before becoming a reaper, maybe there was something that made them decide to make me a reaper. I mean… if the reaper who collected me thought I was going to be reborn- and that’s usually right- maybe I was _supposed_ to be.”

“What would have changed that?”

“I don’t know. Maybe I said something? Or did something? Or made a choice?” Yugyeom sighs, and runs his hands over his face. Not knowing things sucked. “What would human me have done that made him the kind of person that became a reaper?”

“I don’t know,” Kunpimook shrugs. “Maybe you tried to start a fight with someone in the afterlife.”

“I would _not_.”

“You don’t know that. Maybe they were like _‘in your next life you’ll be the kind of person who wont watch children’s cartoons when they’re an adult’_ and you were like _‘I don’t want to live a life like that’_ so they made you a reaper instead.”

“How did you even come up with that?” Yugyeom actually laughs, despite the annoyance at their situation he still felt. “What makes you think I watched children’s cartoons?”

“Oh you _totally_ did. I bet you downloaded them on that shitty PC of yours so you didn’t have to wake up early on Saturday.”

“What shitty computer?”

“Huh? Oh I just… picture you with a shitty computer. I mean it was twenty years ago so _every_ computer was a shitty computer.”

“You just ‘picture me with one’ huh?” Yugyeom laughs, but can’t help but think it’s not entirely true. Maybe it’s just selfish hope, that at least one of them remembers _something_ but he feels like it wasn’t just something Kunpimook assumed. Yugyeom wanted to think it was something he _knew_.

“Well, yeah.”

“Hey… You know humans sometimes block stuff out because it’s traumatic?”

“Sure, yeah?”

“What if you blocked out your entire life? Maybe you would have never remembered because there was nothing to trigger it, but you _could_.”

“I blocked it out? That’s… possible.” Kunpimook’s expression was worried. “That would mean… if that was true there would be a chance of me remembering.”

“Isn’t that a good thing?”

“I don’t know.” They’d said that a lot in the past few days, but Kunpimook never looked so scared saying it before. “What if the person I was isn’t anything like me? Like… what if it turns out I really was entirely different, that I really _didn’t_ care about anyone or thing like I do now?”

“…Would that change something? You do care _now_ , Bambam. Even if you didn’t in the past.” Yugyeom is trying to be comforting, but he can’t tell if it’s working because of the mixed expression on Kunpimooks face.

“If that theory was right, too, then I would remember and you wouldn’t.”

“I’m okay with that.”

“How?”

“I want to know about myself but… I like this version of me. I mean… If you could remember I could learn about myself from you anyway, right?” Yugyeom doesn’t say what he’s actually thinking. He just wants _Kunpimook_ to remember him; now, from before, as long as he does it’s fine. But that’s cheesy and too much, so Yugyeom keeps it to himself.

“…If I remember anything for real I’ll let you know. Until then let’s try and find other theories.”

“Of course.”

They don’t know where to start. Kunpimook is sort of scared that if he finds out where to start looking, he might find out the answers. Wanting answers is something he told himself he did, but he’s also scared to know them. Yugyeom doesn’t mind not having all the answers, is okay with knowing only this version of himself, but he also wants to know there was a person he used to be that doesn’t exist any more.

Until they find a starting point for their answers Kunpimook does his job as a demon and takes human life. Yugyeom does his job as a reaper and collects the souls. They get to know the current version of each other while silently wondering- or not so silently at times- if they’re the same as the people they forgot they were.

“Really though why did you steal glasses?”

“Listen, Yugyeom, don’t question my choices.”


End file.
